...not because I don't have momentum (I've been working on art back to back) but because I have different priorities atm.

I sat on the idea of packing my stuff and disappearing for about a year, and the more time passes the more that idea seems like the only rational option I have. "Wherever you go, there you are" or something, but I'm not running from myself. I learned to like myself. It's just that I've realized that I'm not meant to be around people. It's not even in a negative, cynical type of way (mostly). I'm almost never happy around people, but I'm never lonely by myself. I'm sick of not being alone. I've made up my mind and I'm going through with it.

So to fix that, I need money to isolate. Isolate as in: vanish further into NYC with only a few close friends knowing where I am. Maybe. But you can't vanish if you're broke. So I'm studying to earn more positions at work. My art will take more time to post, but if I grind I'll be much closer to where I wanna be within the next few months. I need to juggle. I need that silence. I can't wait to permanently get the fuck away from everybody I know.

Edit, 9/25/2026

I passed the test I studied for. I'm that much closer and already I feel free.

Edit, 10/07/2027

I saw what my first pay looks like after I got extra time at work. It's very much doable to rent something super cheap in the next 2 months or so. Finding something cheap will be the main issue. I'm giving myself a little more time at this job before I leave for a new one if I'm not where I want to be financially. That might mean more tests, but so be it.